potential.

I see the best in you, but when I see the worst,

It’s the worst. –Amberly Moore

So the scenario goes, gal meets guy; guy is smart, funny, and ambitious all while still managing to look good.

He’s got your attention.  And did I mention he’s got ambition, because ain’t nothing better than a man on a mission.  He compliments you on your style while complementing your style.  Wow.

So what’s the catch? There’s always a catch you say.  No catch; the guy has all the potential in the world to be…great.

But…this is where the road diverges.

Maybe your potential has trust issues.  Fell in love with a six-inch walker, and she walked all over his heart.  Did him wrong, to say the very least.  Now he thinks every girl is trifling and full of it, a true male version of “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”.  He’s got a past and no matter what he says or doesn’t say, he hasn’t gotten pass it.

Or maybe he’s “stuck in his ways”, can’t let go of that life; what life you ask, that life of a different girl every night.  He likes you, a lot, but whether it is his image/reputation/status he wants to uphold and/or pressure from his bruhs, he can’t help but feel like he’ll miss out on something if he throws away the roster.  Gotta have the team, right?

Or wait, maybe you and he, he and you, are so much alike that it’s dangerous.  Ya’ll click, got that easy conversation; but ya’ll clash, stubbornness, attitudes and personality get the best of you two.  It could all be so simple, but you’ve come to believe that ya’ll like it hard.  The back and forth, the on and off, it’s become a game of cat-and-mouse through subliminal messages and childish actions.  If this is your situation, you know how it goes.

And in each situation you want out, but you can’t.  You know too much about him now; you see the man he can be and you want to be there for the whole ride no matter what bumps, blocks or detours come along.  “Till the wheels fall off”, that’s how the saying goes right?  And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.  Life is hard, relationships are damn hard.  The good relationships ARE the ones that have sustained the ups and downs, smiles and frowns, pleasure and pain, sunshine and rain…and category 6 hurricanes (it gets real).

But let’s rewind because this isn’t ya’ll; ya’ll are still at the stage of potential.  Going on and on about what he SHOULD BE saying/doing, what he WOULD BE saying/doing if it wasn’t for he/she/it, and what/who he COULD BE if it wasn’t for he/she/it.  And then you’re stuck with the dreaded “shoulda-woulda-coulda” theory with TOO many variables and no solutions.

STOP. YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE.  And quite frankly, you shouldn’t want to be with someone you can.  He has to acknowledge who he is and who he wants to be and who he can be for…HIMSELF.  If you’re forcing the relationship or the commitment or the change, your plan WILL backfire and explode right before your very eyes.  Stop accepting anything but don’t expect anything to change because you’re ready.  Until he is ready, nothing you say or do will change your situation.  Potential is a chance, an option, what changes that is when one realizes they are more than just an option.

--Amberly Moore<3

|MOOREthanawoman|